White Horse
by alwaysuptonogood
Summary: Hermione's thoughts after Ron left in Deathly Hallows. Ron/Hermione pairing. OneShot only - set to Taylor Swift's song White Horse.


**I'm not a big fan of Ron/Hermione but I felt as though I just **_**had **_**to write this. I know it's short and just drabble-ish, but I've admired Hermione for like **_**forever**_** with how she coped with this. I'd have gone mad – it's sometimes impossible to choose between a best friend and someone you, well, you know **_**like**_**. I almost went mad when I had to seriously =) The song is Taylor Swift's {she is AMAZING and so is the admirable JK Rowling, who I have honoured so much in my mind it hurts =[ }**

_**This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town**_

_**I was a dreamer before you went and let me down**_

_**Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around**_

Harry's my best friend.

Of course he is – and I love him. But like a brother. _Only_ a brother, despite what many people may think. Fancying him would be like incest. It's gross to even think about. And Ron...he's my friend too – all three of us are best friends, but Ron...I felt differently for him. And I thought for one stupid moment maybe he did too. But then he goes and leaves. So now I have no clue.

I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to make Harry feel uneasy; I know how he gets with crying girls. He's typical in some ways. But I can't help but cry – Ron wasn't meant to leave. He and Harry aren't meant to argue. Sure, they've had fallings out before...but the only major one they've had was three years ago, and that was over something – OK, I guess it was similar. But at least then, Ron didn't abandon us. But we were at school then. And now we're all on our own – and depending on each other and Ron goes and does something – something – SO stupidly ridiculous.

We're meant to be best friends. We're meant to stick together and especially now – we're meant to be trying to save people here. Not bickering over something like this. Ron thinks that Harry doesn't care...the argument revolved around Harry not caring about Ginny. But I know he does – they love each other. It's obvious. Especially since we walked in on them on Harry's birthday – Ron thinks that Harry was taking advantage of her. He wasn't. I know he wasn't.

Ron's being...immature. Sure the Horcrux had an effect in this. But I can't kid myself thinking that it's the Horcrux that caused all of this. Ron had some part in this - Harry too. And even I did. Ron thinks Harry's not prepared for this...and maybe we could say that if he had had more time. But Harry's been going through a lot – he can't go and locate all of the Horcruxes in just a few weeks. Dumbledore's death affected everyone. Including Ron – even if he won't admit it; and so did Mad Eye's.

I can't stop crying. Ron was someone I could talk to without feeling...I don't know, I just could. I feel nervous talking to Harry – it's like I don't want to interrupt him, and his anger is...unpredictable lately. And we're the only ones out here. What if Ron's caught? Surely people are looking for Harry and me – well of course they're looking for Harry – but Ron's meant to be ill. He'd be killed – and so would his family if he was caught. They'd know that they lied to the Ministry of Magic, and, by that, they lied to the Death Eaters and Voldemort.

What if Ron's caught anyway...his family would be so angry with us. They can't be mad at Ron. He's innocent – right? I can't focus on anything now. I feel awful for letting him go. I ran after him of course. Harry was too angry to. But I know Harry's missing him already. They're best friends; they have been since their first day of Hogwarts. Surely neither of them can ignore that for so long...could they? I don't know. Those two always surprise me. Both of them – and most of the time in bad ways; I can never tell what they're on about half the time with the stupid Wonky-Faints or whatever they are.

He's not going to be coming back, is he?

It's impossible for him to. He can't find us again...we have safety precautions, he knew that when he left. I can't help but blame Harry sometimes. Maybe if he'd gone after him, he'd still be here, but it's wrong for me to blame him. And we can't throw everything away to go traipsing after him. He'd be angry still no doubt. I mean...he's Ron. He holds grudges, and so does Harry.

I suppose the one way to make sure we get him back is to find these Horcruxes. We've got to. If we don't...then we won't be able to end all of this. And if it ends, Ron will be back.

More than once I've thought about leaving Harry to find Ron. But it'd be like brother or boyfriend – no, I did _not_ just think that. Ron is _not _my boyfriend. No – no way is he my boyfriend. We argue too much for him to be my _boyfriend_. And besides, I can't leave Harry here. Either way, I lose someone. I lose Harry, or I lose Ron.

I can't choose – it's impossible.

I'll stay. I'll just stay for as long as I can with Harry – and I'll keep hoping against hope that we find him. There's almost no chance. But I can hope can't I? We've got to find him eventually. I just can't accept the fact he just left me here. Left _us _here.

Maybe if I wish it, he'll be back. Harry wants him back too. I know he does. And Ron wants to come back. I know that much too. It's not like Fourth Year – where I could run between the two free of will. Running from one to the other now is like death. So I've got to stay put – and maybe with my own mind and heart, I'll be able to find him. Or he'll find us.

There's no chance. It's too late for him to come around again.


End file.
